Chiang Mai, Thailand: Tourists on the Prowl

K Kelly has finally arrived in– well, somewhere hereabouts Asia, and was recently spotted in Chiang Mai, Thailand, trying the patience of geckos, who are widely believed among reptilian experts to be imperturbably tolerant. But apparently, tall Anglo tourists poking formidable camera lenses at their noses waiting for a striking pose can trigger a long-dormant evolutionary response of sighing.

“This is a groundbreaking discovery. Who knew that geckos can sigh?” Albert Felbrek of the Center for Gecko Studies at Harvard University gushed yesterday. A gaggle of animal rights activists were gathered outside the traumatized gecko’s cement crack abode while Mr Kelly bewilderedly insisted he did not intend to harm the urban wildlife. Fellow traveler D Hirschey declined to comment, inquiring instead for the nearest market stall so she can unload her person of hard-earned greenbacks in exchange for useless dust-collecting ethnic trinkets to bring back home to friends in the USA.

Mr Kelly was also advised to stay AWAY from the rebel-held vicinity of the moving Burma-Thailand border, and keep to the relative safety of tourist-mauled market regions, a suggestion eagerly appreciated by his shopaholic travel partner, who vehemently insists she is just supporting the Millennium Development Goal of Reducing Poverty by purchasing all tribal knick-knacks in sight.

We await in eager anticipation that mass email detailing scrapes and misadventures along the lines of “I am alive and in X. Love, K”.