The Socialist-Free Purity Pledge!

Please print and sign the below pledge from DailyKos. Ask all your teabagger/libertarian friends and family to sign it!

The Teabagger Socialist-Free Purity Pledge

I, ________________________________, do solemnly swear to uphold the principles of a socialism-free society and heretofore pledge my word that I shall strictly adhere to the following:

I will complain about the destruction of 1st Amendment Rights in this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 1st Amendment Rights.

I will complain about the destruction of my 2ndAmendment Rights in this country, while I am duly >being allowed to exercise my 2ndAmendment rights by legally but brazenly brandishing unconcealed firearms in public.

I will forswear the time-honored principles of fairness, decency, and respect by screaming unintelligible platitudes regarding tyranny, Nazi-ism, and socialism at public town halls. Also.

I pledge to eliminate all government intervention in my life. I will abstain from the use of and participation in any socialist goods and services including but not limited to the following:

*Social Security
*Medicare/Medicaid
*State Children’s Health Insurance Programs (SCHIP)
*Police, Fire, and Emergency Services
*US Postal Service
*Roads and Highways
*Air Travel (regulated by the socialist FAA)
*The US Railway System
*Public Subways and Metro Systems
*Public Bus and Lightrail Systems
*Rest Areas on Highways
*Sidewalks
*All Government-Funded Local/State Projects (e.g., see Iowa 2009 federal senate appropriations)

*Public Water and Sewer Services (goodbye socialist toilet, shower, dishwasher, kitchen sink, outdoor hose!)
*Public and State Universities and Colleges
*Public Primary and Secondary Schools
*Sesame Street
*Publicly Funded Anti-Drug Use Education for Children
*Public Museums
*Libraries
*Public Parks and Beaches
*State and National Parks
*Public Zoos
*Unemployment Insurance
*Municipal Garbage and Recycling Services
*Treatment at Any Hospital or Clinic That Ever Received Funding From Local, Stateor Federal Government (pretty much all of them)
*Medical Services and Medications That Were Created or Derived From Any Government Grant or Research Funding (again, pretty much all of them)
*Socialist Byproducts of Government Investment Such as Duct Tape and Velcro (Nazi-NASA Inventions)
*Use of the Internets, email, and networked computers, as the DoD’s ARPANET was the basis for subsequent computer networking
*Foodstuffs, Meats, Produce and Crops That Were Grown With, Fed With, Raised With or That Contain Inputs From Crops Grown With Government Subsidies
*Clothing Made from Crops (e.g. cotton) That Were Grown With or That Contain Inputs From Government Subsidies
*If a veteran of the government-run socialist US military, I will forego my VA benefits and insist on paying for my own medical care

I will not tour socialist government buildings like the Capitol in Washington, D.C.

I pledge to never take myself, my family, or my children on a tour of the following types of socialist locations, including but not limited to:

*Smithsonian Museums such as the Air and Space Museum or Museum of American History
*The socialist Washington, Lincoln, and Jefferson Monuments
*The government-operated Statue of Liberty
*The Grand Canyon
*The socialist World War II and Vietnam Veterans Memorials
*The government-run socialist-propaganda location known as Arlington National Cemetery
*All other public-funded socialist sites, whether it be in my state or in Washington, DC

I will urge my Member of Congress and Senators to forego their government salary and government-provided healthcare.

I will oppose and condemn the government-funded and therefore socialist military of the United States of America.

I will boycott the products of socialist defense contractors such as GE, Lockheed-Martin, Boeing, Northrop Grumman, General Dynamics, Raytheon, Humana, FedEx, General Motors, Honeywell, and hundreds of others that are paid by our socialist government to produce goods for our socialist army.

I will protest socialist security departments such as the Pentagon, FBI, CIA, Department of Homeland Security, TSA, Department of Justice and their socialist employees.

Upon reaching eligible retirement age, I will tear up my socialist Social Security checks.

Upon reaching age 65, I will forego Medicare and pay for my own private health insurance until I die.

SWORN ON A BIBLE AND SIGNED THIS DAY OF ____________ IN THE YEAR ______________.

___________________________

Signed Printed Name/Town and State

Comments

  1. Happy New Year!

  2. Thx, this has definitely made my day!

    _______________________
    wtf

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