Bump to baby on the beaten expat track
It was a long-overdue trip to escape the ambient noise of Phnom Penh rapidly industrializing. Check out this house!
Our friends moved back to Kampot from the US and built this house. It’s a modernized version of the traditional house, complete with the stilts and architectural elements that make this country so unique (even to the very closely related Thai constructions). [Read more…] about Desperately seeking peace and quiet in Kampot
Lazy days are ahead.. Floating down the river in a converted old rice boat at sunset is one of the best things about these Mekong capitals.
On this last stretch of our time here in Cambodia, we’ve met a lot of new families with questions on what to do with their kids in the city. “Good luck” pops initially to mind. Activity generally means access to some space and fresh air for a bit of exercise. But to be fair, there are plenty of day trip options:
Closer by for outdoor fun is Koh Pich (Diamond Island). At night there’s a popular amusement park for small children, and the wedding halls are overflowing. Families take kids biking there on Sunday mornings when it’s relatively quiet, to ride laps around the island.
Phnom Penh has a fantastic length of grassy, open boulevards stretching from the Independence Monument to the river then up towards Wat Phnom. Unfortunately this route was completed in tandem to rising congestion. Nevertheless, there are endless activities for kids:
Private lessons for different musical instruments seem to be plenty, on top of the formal classes at Simphony and the Music Arts School. Lots of instructors can also be found for private lessons in ballet, dance, sports and of course, tutoring. I just learned how to make soap with a great bunch of ladies, from a Korean soapmaker who sells at the Russian Market.
There is also VIP, Phnom Penh Sports Club and the major hotels (eg Cambodiana, Himawari, Intercontinental, Phnom Penh Hotel, Raffles etc) that have the grounds, that provide lessons for sports, especially for tennis. The biggest schools open some of their school activities to the public, and certainly have summer programs and camps that are open to all – Canadian International School, Northbridge International School, International School of Phnom Penh.
Embassies often work with local NGOs that organize events and holidays to promote cultural exchange. The most active ones are below but there are many more. If a holiday is coming up, check that embassy or consulate’s site to find out if events are scheduled. For example, for Purim there is an event at the Chabad Jewish Center. The Indonesian community works with the restaurants and their embassy to host a big party for Eid-al-Fitr (end of Ramadan).
Guesthouses springing up all over the city all seem to have swimming pools. Most of these establishments will allow non-guests to use the pool for the cost of a meal or drink purchase. But ask first. Sometimes there is a $5 charge for pool use, even with purchase. The ones we like to bring our 4- and 2-year-olds to are:
Movies
Flicks Movie House (#39b St 95, which is the next street west of Monivong) – They have a kids’ feature every Sunday at 10am.
The Empire Movie House (No.34, St. 130 ‘Khemarak Phnom’, near corner St. 5, 1 block from Riverside Blvd – They have a kids’ club every Saturday at 4pm ($1.50 for kids under 12).
For the international releases there are now a plethora of choices: Platinum Cineplex at Sorya Mall, Major Cineplex at Aeon Mall, Legend Cinema at City Mall.
Indoor Playgrounds
Kids City (162A Sihanouk Blvd, near Monivong) – Go-cart, ice skating, climbing wall, jungle gym for toddlers and older kids
Monkey Business (House 16, Street 370 in Boeng Keng Kang 1) – Jungle gym and shallow swimming pool – free up to 6 months, $2 up to 2, $4 for over 2.
Aeon Mall –
Blu-O Bowling Alley (3rd floor) – $5 per person to play in the regular lanes or $100/hr to rent the VIP room with two lanes and a karaoke space
Ice Park (4th floor) – Ice Skating Rink $10/person and they even have cute penguin walkers for beginners!
Kids Park (1st floor) – Mon-Fri $6/kid Weekends $8/kid
Playground (3rd floor inside the Department Store by the kids’ department) – $3/kid during weekdays; $4 on weekends. This place has fantastic pretend play areas, a huge inflated rolling cylinder, and a big ball pit.
Dream Games (3rd floor) – pin ball machines, video games, rides for kids, etc. Our experience compared to similar ones back home is that these machines don’t let you get far enough to be satisfied, that you’d keep putting coins in.
Restaurants with green spaces are popular and growing. The Shop Too in Toul Kork is fantastic for the grassy area and healthy menu. Farm to Table just opened for the conscious consumer, where the tractor and rustic yard literally keeps kids entertained for hours. Riverside drinks and meals of Himawari and Cambodiana are great places for small kids to bring their bikes and a ball or two.
There are lots of great activities for kids, with many not well advertised. For example, there are playgroups by language (I see occasional postings for Mandarin playgroups for kids to learn the language), a breastfeeding support group that meets at Sambo’s Tots (it has a play area for older siblings), Halloween parties at Gecko and Garden and Giving Tree, and last weekend there was a jazz brunch with storytelling for kids at Cabaret Restaurant (reminds me of being in New Orleans!).
Make sure you join the Cambodia Parent Network on Yahoo!groups to get updates on these or other events and services. If you don’t find what you’re looking for, post a question and you’ll likely find someone who can help.
This folk song is a catchy tune (in tagalog), and my son picked up the lyrics in a very short time. He was 2 years old then and spoke no Tagalog. It’s a good introduction to the language and culture of the Philippines.
Anak Books has a great description of the book, so I copy it below in its entirety from their website. Please visit them because it also features a lot of great books in both Tagalog and bilingual Tagalog/English.
The classic Tagalog folktale ‘Bahay Kubo’ is lovingly told and beautifully illustrated through classic Filipino vignettes. This book includes lyrics and score. “Bahay Kubo” is perhaps the best-known and best-loved folk song in the Philipines. Its composer is unknown. Its Tagalog lyrics have been passed down through the generations by way of the oral tradition. The words and music which appear in this book represent but one of the many versions of this folk song. The song’s diatonic melody and walts-like rhythm suggest European influences. The lyrics include plants which are not indegenous to the Philippines, such as peanuts (mani), eggplant (talong), and mustard (mustasa). These foreign elements could mean that the folk song originated or evolved during colonial times. Bahay Kubo tells of a family living in a small nipa hut, surrounded by a garden filled with vegetables. It is a song that celebrates the bounty of our land.
This post is for the Read Around the World Summer Reading Series from Multicultural Kid Blogs! Now through August, bloggers from all over the world will share their recommendations of great multicultural books for the entire family! For more details and the full schedule, visit the series main page. You can also follow along on our Summer Reading Pinterest Board!
“Where are you from?”
Seems innocuous enough of a question. For me, and for many who look “different” in the US, inquiring minds don’t typically accept the answer. The questions continue: “No really, what country are you from?”, followed by “You speak such good English”. The intent isn’t usually malicious and while simple curiosity is friendly enough, the basis for that curiosity isn’t. It denotes the perpetual foreigner syndrome or the “you are an outsider” problem that people of color face, no matter we’re first or third generation native-born. (I’ve never been asked this question by other people of color.)
It isn’t an issue I lose sleep over these days. If anything, it presents an easy IQ test or some mild amusement. (If I say Nauru or Kiribati does s/he know where that is? Or should I fake a nice accent?)
Thankfully a hyphenated identity no longer costs (too many) social points. But I still draw that question back home when I’m outside the major cities. People have an instinctual need to pigeonhole each other into neat little boxes. Most of the time this knee-jerk reaction is harmless. But think of the needlessly reactive fear in the past decade towards people from the Middle East, or of Islamic faith. Examples continue all over the world.
The impact on my parenting? Immerse the kids in a variety of cultures, and make these differences (religious or philosophical persuasions, skin color or ethnic roots, geographic origins) so commonplace they don’t mentally scramble to categorize people they meet.
Practically speaking:
The kids are still very young, but they could do with some anchor. We hope to make geography practical and not just a subject for them. They’re American by citizenship but they were born in Asia. They have paternal roots in Ireland and maternal roots in greater Asia and Spain. But we currently live in a country which none of us have blood relation to.
They are fluent in two languages neither their Papa nor I understand.
They read books or watch programs that feature people from diverse backgrounds. One thing I like to do is to augment their book reading, such that Cora (of Cora Cooks Pancit, by Dorina K. Lazo Gilmore) likes to cook her Filipino dishes with her Hmong friend in her house in Comoras. We constantly change up the stories to keep the books interesting. No, they don’t get Cinderella fairy tales or Barbie dolls at home. They’ll be exposed to enough of that as they grow, but they will have a balanced cultural basis (which isn’t western-dominated) for their worldview before then.
They have globes, airplanes and ships everywhere so we can connect everyday discussion to places. They still can’t show us these countries on the globe, but one day they will. We love eating out, and usually it’s (what’s popularly known as) “ethnic” food. We bring them to Buddhist death rituals or to a Purim event. We talk about their friend Sam who went back to Cairns, that their friend Marla from Kassel sent them a beautiful book, or we’ll Skype with their Lola in Toronto and tell her we’ll see her in Manila at Christmas.
All this to instill in them a love of different cultures, and acceptance as the norm the many facets of each individual’s identity.
“Where are you from?”
That’s a difficult question for many people to answer.
Note:
I had two reactions to the theme “Where are you from”. This question often represents some form of discrimination for many people (I think of my experience in the US, but this can be applicable in other countries too). We (people of Asian or Middle Eastern descent, for example) are asked it because we must come from *somewhere*else*, even if we’re native-born speaking perfect English. We dread getting this question.
I find it interesting that in blog posts around the web or discussions with non-minorities, diversity in their family is celebrated, even bragged about – but this is also my second reaction.
It’s just an observation – I’m not making a statement one way or the other. Diversity is to be celebrated and I’m glad it doesn’t cost (as many) social points as it did in my youth!
Welcome to the May 2014 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Ages and Stages
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have talked about their children’s most rewarding and most challenging developmental periods. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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Recently a child who attended our son’s playgroup was the victim of a terrible crime. It shook the expatriate community for its brutality. Cambodia’s charms draw us all in, and we foreigners choose to be hopeful about the inherent good in people. We forget that it remains a country where impunity reigns, violence lurks beneath the surface, and life can be expendable.
The mother didn’t survive the attack. Her toddler, found next to her the following morning, was airlifted to Bangkok but passed away days later. The family was posted to Cambodia less than a year ago.
Words fail for such things. It’s especially raw among those who know the weight of a baby in our arms. What profound anguish the father now bears…
At three years old, the notion of death eludes our preschooler, but he fully grasped that something tragic happened to someone he knew.
How do you begin to discuss violence with a young child who has only ever known safety, and the kindness of strangers? Especially when you just want to gather them close and shield them from something like this.
In the immediate period it’s hard not to dwell on the crime and focus on the positives.
We brought him with us to the vigil even though it ran late. He picked the flowers that we brought. He saw the family’s friends and colleagues gathered in condolence and support. He felt the shared grief and observed the basic kindness and compassion of people.
Everyone gathered in a public space then walked together in silent procession to the family’s house. Our son held a candle and some flowers and, once there, he placed them beside the others against the gate. He listened to the poems and eulogies, delivered in different languages. He asked a lot of questions quietly. And we held him close when he let us. By his innocent way he somehow helped poke through the blanket of mourning that weighed over his Papa and I.
As is normal given their resilience (or short attention span?), our son has since bounced back while we adults are left deeply impacted. He has spoken about the incident since, mostly to repeat what he already knew. And we answered as honestly as we could. There will be more questions about violence, especially with so much of it in the media (here or back home), and also as our work continues in countries where violence can be commonplace. And as this time, there won’t be an easy way to handle them. For now, we’re unconsciously smothering the kids with extra hugs and attention.
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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants: